And I’m specifically asking the ladies here. How can anyone of us have a problem with feminism?
I ask because I have noticed a lot of criticism of the movement has come from a lot of women and it has left me confused as to why they have a problem with feminism.
I then realized that the criticism is two fold. There are two very different reasons to why a lot of women hate feminism and all the other women who fully subscribe to it.
The first reason is illustrated in the picture below:
This picture makes me laugh because it showcases women who enjoy the delusions of inclusion because they don’t want to be viewed in the same light as feminists because they have been deemed to be “evil man hating women, who will never find a man to marry them, and really, they are not very happy people because they complain about everything.”
You see, it’s a delusion of inclusion because you are still pandering for male approval because everything you do is seen through the lens of “I hope these men find me desirable and will therefore marry me”, so essentially, everything you do is for male approval so you are deemed worthy. The threat that women who don’t “believe” in the movement is that “nobody will marry you” (this isn’t the only “threat” but let’s use this one for now), and this one is particularly entertaining for me because it assumes that all men think this way or that men have the power in whether you get married or not and lastly, that getting married is the highest level of living a person can attain, forgetting the simple fact that you have a choice in deciding to get married. Women are taught to be nice and accommodating to a fault, and no wonder some of the biggest people pleasers are women because if not, no one will want you. Plot twist, you will not die.
Now this is where you will want to get clever and say “well you can’t have a choice if a man doesn’t propose”, I however disagree, and this is the point of feminism, is that you do have choices independent of men. As in, you, for yourself, can decide if you want to get married or not, and whatever your choice, you have the freedom to make it and you shouldn’t be judged for it.
So this group of women has internalized misogyny to the point of performing for male gaze, waiting for acceptance and applause because “I’m not like those other women” which translates to women hating other women without first trying to understand. I think this group of women also have a problem with feminism because it has been explained by men, and other women, as a group of women wanting to be like men. And this is the other thing I find entertaining.
The idea that wanting to be treated as equal means that I want to be a man, lets me know that people really have no idea what feminism is really about. Rebecca West famously said, “Feminism is the radical notion that women are people.” It is about saying that if she does the same job as you, she should be paid the same amount as you; she is not saying she wants to be like you, a man (that’s an example for the kids at the back).
I sometimes wonder what it will take for misogynistic women to realize that feminism is not the problem, but rather the solution to systematic inequalities and injustices.
Now, I want to use this time to talk to the group of women who think all feminist do is complain, are angry all the time and are out to get men.
The problem with this is that it’s like people who say being pro black, you are out to get white people. It’s not about the people, in this instance, it’s not about men but about patriarchy and misogyny, things that hurt women and hinder their progress. It is not about men, it’s about empowering women. (Also, feminism includes men….I’ll let that marinate)
Also, when you tell people who have been oppressed not to be angry, you are dehumanizing them and you invalid their struggles. You tell women to accept their unjust roles and “lot” in life with grace, forgetting that its unjust. So in that regard, yes, feminists have every right to be angry. No one wants to be treated and seen as a lessor form of human because of where they comes from, same applies to gender.
Women who have a problem with feminism have concluded that feminists are just attention seeking women and there is nothing more to them.
That doesn’t make any sense.
Who would choose to be met with insults and threats all because they want equality for everyone? Especially when it comes from those you are fighting for? In the midst of your name calling and rubbishing of women, tell me exactly how feminism has negatively impacted your life.
You can vote, you can own property, you have access to health care, you can wear trousers, you can drive, you can get an education, you can be employed, you don’t have to get married if you don’t want to, you can seek help for assault, you can exercise your voice and say “no” and “yes” when you want. Most importantly, you have choices.
So please tell me how feminism has wronged you?
Feminism changed my life before I was even born when women took to the streets to demand that we have the right to these things and more importantly, that we have the right to choose. I mean sex selective abortions still exist and you are mad that women have choices.
Now, I want to use this time to talk to the group of women who think all feminist do is complain, are angry all the time and are out to get men.
The problem with this is that it’s like people who say being pro black, you are out to get white people. It’s not about the people, in this instance, it’s not about men but about patriarchy and misogyny, things that hurt women and hinder their progress.
It is not about men, it’s about empowering women. (Also, feminism includes men….I’ll let that marinate)
Also, when you tell people who have been oppressed not to be angry, you are dehumanizing them and you invalid their struggles. You tell women to accept their unjust roles and “lot” in life with grace, forgetting that’s its unjust. So in that regard, yes, feminists have every right to be angry.
No one wants to be treated and seen as a lessor form of human because of where they comes from, same applies to gender.
So again I ask, please tell me how feminism has wronged you?
- Written by Malebo Moloto
- #TLOTB Feature Writer
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